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Should 私の be omitted?


What are the guidelines of omitting particles?Is there something omitted after だか in this sentence?Emphatic / Focus loss upon translating between active and passive sentences?Can volitional form mean 'you should …'Should it be のにです or ですのに when stating an omitted 2nd sentence in polite sentence?Is the causative-passive necessary hereHow should I translate “It was the most horrible time of my life”?creating a question given a responseIs a sentence ending with “か……。” a question or a questionative statement?






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10

















I have the following sentence on my Japanese LinkedIn page:



私 の 目的 は 主導 と 代表的 な 執行 と 技術革新 通じて 例外的 な 質 を 生むて います。
It is meant to mirror my English mission statement:
"My mission is to deliver exceptional value through leadership, outstanding performance, and innovation."



My question is, should 私の be omitted?










share|improve this question


































    10

















    I have the following sentence on my Japanese LinkedIn page:



    私 の 目的 は 主導 と 代表的 な 執行 と 技術革新 通じて 例外的 な 質 を 生むて います。
    It is meant to mirror my English mission statement:
    "My mission is to deliver exceptional value through leadership, outstanding performance, and innovation."



    My question is, should 私の be omitted?










    share|improve this question






























      10












      10








      10








      I have the following sentence on my Japanese LinkedIn page:



      私 の 目的 は 主導 と 代表的 な 執行 と 技術革新 通じて 例外的 な 質 を 生むて います。
      It is meant to mirror my English mission statement:
      "My mission is to deliver exceptional value through leadership, outstanding performance, and innovation."



      My question is, should 私の be omitted?










      share|improve this question

















      I have the following sentence on my Japanese LinkedIn page:



      私 の 目的 は 主導 と 代表的 な 執行 と 技術革新 通じて 例外的 な 質 を 生むて います。
      It is meant to mirror my English mission statement:
      "My mission is to deliver exceptional value through leadership, outstanding performance, and innovation."



      My question is, should 私の be omitted?







      grammar translation sentence ellipsis first-person-pronouns






      share|improve this question
















      share|improve this question













      share|improve this question




      share|improve this question








      edited Jun 26 at 21:56









      Eiríkr Útlendi

      22.5k1 gold badge41 silver badges76 bronze badges




      22.5k1 gold badge41 silver badges76 bronze badges










      asked Jun 26 at 20:22









      Mike ShanahanMike Shanahan

      928 bronze badges




      928 bronze badges























          1 Answer
          1






          active

          oldest

          votes


















          24


















          Since this is a formal statement, it's better to keep 私の. But people can understand the sentence without it because they know it's your profile.



          What's worse about your sentence is that your sentence has a number of bad word choices and grammatical errors.



          • 生むています is always ungrammatical. The te-form of 生む is 生んで.

          • There is a subject-predicate mismatch. 私の目的は生んでいます is "My mission is (in the process of) producing something" rather than "My mission is to produce something". You have to nominalize 生む.

          • 主導 refers to an act of leading, but it does not refer to an ability to take a lead role.

          • 代表的な執行 sounds like "representative execution" rather than "outstanding performance".

          • 例外的な does not have a positive connotation like that of "exceptional". 例外的な質 sounds like "peculiar quality" rather than "exceptional value".

          • 通じて needs a particle を.

          • (EDIT) This is a relatively minor problem, but consider using 目標 instead of 目的. The former refers to a long-term mission/goal, whereas the latter is closer to "purpose".

          A corrected version is something like:




          私の目標はリーダーシップ、高いパフォーマンス、イノベーションを通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。




          Or if you don't like katakana loanwords, an alternative free translation would be:




          私の目標は、指導力・実行力・革新力を通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。







          share|improve this answer























          • 3





            I feel that this "exceptional" translates into 卓越した or 真似のできない.

            – broccoli forest
            Jun 27 at 3:35











          • @broccoliforest Yes that's better, thank you.

            – naruto
            Jun 27 at 4:30











          • Holy moly! Thank you so very much! I wish I could upvote multiple times! Thank you thank you!

            – Mike Shanahan
            Jun 27 at 9:43












          Your Answer








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          1 Answer
          1






          active

          oldest

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          1 Answer
          1






          active

          oldest

          votes









          active

          oldest

          votes






          active

          oldest

          votes









          24


















          Since this is a formal statement, it's better to keep 私の. But people can understand the sentence without it because they know it's your profile.



          What's worse about your sentence is that your sentence has a number of bad word choices and grammatical errors.



          • 生むています is always ungrammatical. The te-form of 生む is 生んで.

          • There is a subject-predicate mismatch. 私の目的は生んでいます is "My mission is (in the process of) producing something" rather than "My mission is to produce something". You have to nominalize 生む.

          • 主導 refers to an act of leading, but it does not refer to an ability to take a lead role.

          • 代表的な執行 sounds like "representative execution" rather than "outstanding performance".

          • 例外的な does not have a positive connotation like that of "exceptional". 例外的な質 sounds like "peculiar quality" rather than "exceptional value".

          • 通じて needs a particle を.

          • (EDIT) This is a relatively minor problem, but consider using 目標 instead of 目的. The former refers to a long-term mission/goal, whereas the latter is closer to "purpose".

          A corrected version is something like:




          私の目標はリーダーシップ、高いパフォーマンス、イノベーションを通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。




          Or if you don't like katakana loanwords, an alternative free translation would be:




          私の目標は、指導力・実行力・革新力を通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。







          share|improve this answer























          • 3





            I feel that this "exceptional" translates into 卓越した or 真似のできない.

            – broccoli forest
            Jun 27 at 3:35











          • @broccoliforest Yes that's better, thank you.

            – naruto
            Jun 27 at 4:30











          • Holy moly! Thank you so very much! I wish I could upvote multiple times! Thank you thank you!

            – Mike Shanahan
            Jun 27 at 9:43















          24


















          Since this is a formal statement, it's better to keep 私の. But people can understand the sentence without it because they know it's your profile.



          What's worse about your sentence is that your sentence has a number of bad word choices and grammatical errors.



          • 生むています is always ungrammatical. The te-form of 生む is 生んで.

          • There is a subject-predicate mismatch. 私の目的は生んでいます is "My mission is (in the process of) producing something" rather than "My mission is to produce something". You have to nominalize 生む.

          • 主導 refers to an act of leading, but it does not refer to an ability to take a lead role.

          • 代表的な執行 sounds like "representative execution" rather than "outstanding performance".

          • 例外的な does not have a positive connotation like that of "exceptional". 例外的な質 sounds like "peculiar quality" rather than "exceptional value".

          • 通じて needs a particle を.

          • (EDIT) This is a relatively minor problem, but consider using 目標 instead of 目的. The former refers to a long-term mission/goal, whereas the latter is closer to "purpose".

          A corrected version is something like:




          私の目標はリーダーシップ、高いパフォーマンス、イノベーションを通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。




          Or if you don't like katakana loanwords, an alternative free translation would be:




          私の目標は、指導力・実行力・革新力を通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。







          share|improve this answer























          • 3





            I feel that this "exceptional" translates into 卓越した or 真似のできない.

            – broccoli forest
            Jun 27 at 3:35











          • @broccoliforest Yes that's better, thank you.

            – naruto
            Jun 27 at 4:30











          • Holy moly! Thank you so very much! I wish I could upvote multiple times! Thank you thank you!

            – Mike Shanahan
            Jun 27 at 9:43













          24














          24










          24









          Since this is a formal statement, it's better to keep 私の. But people can understand the sentence without it because they know it's your profile.



          What's worse about your sentence is that your sentence has a number of bad word choices and grammatical errors.



          • 生むています is always ungrammatical. The te-form of 生む is 生んで.

          • There is a subject-predicate mismatch. 私の目的は生んでいます is "My mission is (in the process of) producing something" rather than "My mission is to produce something". You have to nominalize 生む.

          • 主導 refers to an act of leading, but it does not refer to an ability to take a lead role.

          • 代表的な執行 sounds like "representative execution" rather than "outstanding performance".

          • 例外的な does not have a positive connotation like that of "exceptional". 例外的な質 sounds like "peculiar quality" rather than "exceptional value".

          • 通じて needs a particle を.

          • (EDIT) This is a relatively minor problem, but consider using 目標 instead of 目的. The former refers to a long-term mission/goal, whereas the latter is closer to "purpose".

          A corrected version is something like:




          私の目標はリーダーシップ、高いパフォーマンス、イノベーションを通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。




          Or if you don't like katakana loanwords, an alternative free translation would be:




          私の目標は、指導力・実行力・革新力を通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。







          share|improve this answer
















          Since this is a formal statement, it's better to keep 私の. But people can understand the sentence without it because they know it's your profile.



          What's worse about your sentence is that your sentence has a number of bad word choices and grammatical errors.



          • 生むています is always ungrammatical. The te-form of 生む is 生んで.

          • There is a subject-predicate mismatch. 私の目的は生んでいます is "My mission is (in the process of) producing something" rather than "My mission is to produce something". You have to nominalize 生む.

          • 主導 refers to an act of leading, but it does not refer to an ability to take a lead role.

          • 代表的な執行 sounds like "representative execution" rather than "outstanding performance".

          • 例外的な does not have a positive connotation like that of "exceptional". 例外的な質 sounds like "peculiar quality" rather than "exceptional value".

          • 通じて needs a particle を.

          • (EDIT) This is a relatively minor problem, but consider using 目標 instead of 目的. The former refers to a long-term mission/goal, whereas the latter is closer to "purpose".

          A corrected version is something like:




          私の目標はリーダーシップ、高いパフォーマンス、イノベーションを通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。




          Or if you don't like katakana loanwords, an alternative free translation would be:




          私の目標は、指導力・実行力・革新力を通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。








          share|improve this answer















          share|improve this answer




          share|improve this answer








          edited Jun 27 at 11:27

























          answered Jun 27 at 0:26









          narutonaruto

          191k9 gold badges201 silver badges383 bronze badges




          191k9 gold badges201 silver badges383 bronze badges










          • 3





            I feel that this "exceptional" translates into 卓越した or 真似のできない.

            – broccoli forest
            Jun 27 at 3:35











          • @broccoliforest Yes that's better, thank you.

            – naruto
            Jun 27 at 4:30











          • Holy moly! Thank you so very much! I wish I could upvote multiple times! Thank you thank you!

            – Mike Shanahan
            Jun 27 at 9:43












          • 3





            I feel that this "exceptional" translates into 卓越した or 真似のできない.

            – broccoli forest
            Jun 27 at 3:35











          • @broccoliforest Yes that's better, thank you.

            – naruto
            Jun 27 at 4:30











          • Holy moly! Thank you so very much! I wish I could upvote multiple times! Thank you thank you!

            – Mike Shanahan
            Jun 27 at 9:43







          3




          3





          I feel that this "exceptional" translates into 卓越した or 真似のできない.

          – broccoli forest
          Jun 27 at 3:35





          I feel that this "exceptional" translates into 卓越した or 真似のできない.

          – broccoli forest
          Jun 27 at 3:35













          @broccoliforest Yes that's better, thank you.

          – naruto
          Jun 27 at 4:30





          @broccoliforest Yes that's better, thank you.

          – naruto
          Jun 27 at 4:30













          Holy moly! Thank you so very much! I wish I could upvote multiple times! Thank you thank you!

          – Mike Shanahan
          Jun 27 at 9:43





          Holy moly! Thank you so very much! I wish I could upvote multiple times! Thank you thank you!

          – Mike Shanahan
          Jun 27 at 9:43


















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