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Should 私の be omitted?

What are the guidelines of omitting particles?Is there something omitted after だか in this sentence?Emphatic / Focus loss upon translating between active and passive sentences?Can volitional form mean 'you should …'Should it be のにです or ですのに when stating an omitted 2nd sentence in polite sentence?Is the causative-passive necessary hereHow should I translate “It was the most horrible time of my life”?creating a question given a responseIs a sentence ending with “か……。” a question or a questionative statement?

.everyoneloves__top-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__mid-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__bot-mid-leaderboard:empty
margin-bottom:0;

.everyonelovesstackoverflowposition:absolute;height:1px;width:1px;opacity:0;top:0;left:0;pointer-events:none;

10

I have the following sentence on my Japanese LinkedIn page:

私 の 目的 は 主導 と 代表的 な 執行 と 技術革新 通じて 例外的 な 質 を 生むて います。
It is meant to mirror my English mission statement:
"My mission is to deliver exceptional value through leadership, outstanding performance, and innovation."

My question is, should 私の be omitted?

grammar translation sentence ellipsis first-person-pronouns

share|improve this question

edited Jun 26 at 21:56

Eiríkr Útlendi

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asked Jun 26 at 20:22

Mike ShanahanMike Shanahan

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add a comment
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10

I have the following sentence on my Japanese LinkedIn page:

私 の 目的 は 主導 と 代表的 な 執行 と 技術革新 通じて 例外的 な 質 を 生むて います。
It is meant to mirror my English mission statement:
"My mission is to deliver exceptional value through leadership, outstanding performance, and innovation."

My question is, should 私の be omitted?

grammar translation sentence ellipsis first-person-pronouns

share|improve this question

edited Jun 26 at 21:56

Eiríkr Útlendi

22.5k11 gold badge4141 silver badges7676 bronze badges

asked Jun 26 at 20:22

Mike ShanahanMike Shanahan

9288 bronze badges

add a comment
 | 

I have the following sentence on my Japanese LinkedIn page:

私 の 目的 は 主導 と 代表的 な 執行 と 技術革新 通じて 例外的 な 質 を 生むて います。
It is meant to mirror my English mission statement:
"My mission is to deliver exceptional value through leadership, outstanding performance, and innovation."

My question is, should 私の be omitted?

grammar translation sentence ellipsis first-person-pronouns

share|improve this question

edited Jun 26 at 21:56

Eiríkr Útlendi

22.5k11 gold badge4141 silver badges7676 bronze badges

asked Jun 26 at 20:22

Mike ShanahanMike Shanahan

9288 bronze badges

share|improve this question

edited Jun 26 at 21:56

Eiríkr Útlendi

22.5k11 gold badge4141 silver badges7676 bronze badges

asked Jun 26 at 20:22

Mike ShanahanMike Shanahan

9288 bronze badges

share|improve this question

edited Jun 26 at 21:56

Eiríkr Útlendi

22.5k11 gold badge4141 silver badges7676 bronze badges

asked Jun 26 at 20:22

Mike ShanahanMike Shanahan

9288 bronze badges

edited Jun 26 at 21:56

Eiríkr Útlendi

22.5k11 gold badge4141 silver badges7676 bronze badges

edited Jun 26 at 21:56

Eiríkr Útlendi

22.5k11 gold badge4141 silver badges7676 bronze badges

asked Jun 26 at 20:22

Mike ShanahanMike Shanahan

9288 bronze badges

asked Jun 26 at 20:22

Mike ShanahanMike Shanahan

9288 bronze badges

1 Answer
1

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24

Since this is a formal statement, it's better to keep 私の. But people can understand the sentence without it because they know it's your profile.

What's worse about your sentence is that your sentence has a number of bad word choices and grammatical errors.

• 生むています is always ungrammatical. The te-form of 生む is 生んで.


• There is a subject-predicate mismatch. 私の目的は生んでいます is "My mission is (in the process of) producing something" rather than "My mission is to produce something". You have to nominalize 生む.


• 主導 refers to an act of leading, but it does not refer to an ability to take a lead role.


• 代表的な執行 sounds like "representative execution" rather than "outstanding performance".


• 例外的な does not have a positive connotation like that of "exceptional". 例外的な質 sounds like "peculiar quality" rather than "exceptional value".


• 通じて needs a particle を.


• (EDIT) This is a relatively minor problem, but consider using 目標 instead of 目的. The former refers to a long-term mission/goal, whereas the latter is closer to "purpose".

A corrected version is something like:

私の目標はリーダーシップ、高いパフォーマンス、イノベーションを通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。

Or if you don't like katakana loanwords, an alternative free translation would be:

私の目標は、指導力・実行力・革新力を通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。

share|improve this answer

edited Jun 27 at 11:27

answered Jun 27 at 0:26

narutonaruto

191k99 gold badges201201 silver badges383383 bronze badges

• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  I feel that this "exceptional" translates into 卓越した or 真似のできない.
  
  – broccoli forest
  Jun 27 at 3:35
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  @broccoliforest Yes that's better, thank you.
  
  – naruto
  Jun 27 at 4:30
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  Holy moly! Thank you so very much! I wish I could upvote multiple times! Thank you thank you!
  
  – Mike Shanahan
  Jun 27 at 9:43
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment
 | 

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24

Since this is a formal statement, it's better to keep 私の. But people can understand the sentence without it because they know it's your profile.

What's worse about your sentence is that your sentence has a number of bad word choices and grammatical errors.

• 生むています is always ungrammatical. The te-form of 生む is 生んで.


• There is a subject-predicate mismatch. 私の目的は生んでいます is "My mission is (in the process of) producing something" rather than "My mission is to produce something". You have to nominalize 生む.


• 主導 refers to an act of leading, but it does not refer to an ability to take a lead role.


• 代表的な執行 sounds like "representative execution" rather than "outstanding performance".


• 例外的な does not have a positive connotation like that of "exceptional". 例外的な質 sounds like "peculiar quality" rather than "exceptional value".


• 通じて needs a particle を.


• (EDIT) This is a relatively minor problem, but consider using 目標 instead of 目的. The former refers to a long-term mission/goal, whereas the latter is closer to "purpose".

A corrected version is something like:

私の目標はリーダーシップ、高いパフォーマンス、イノベーションを通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。

Or if you don't like katakana loanwords, an alternative free translation would be:

私の目標は、指導力・実行力・革新力を通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。

share|improve this answer

edited Jun 27 at 11:27

answered Jun 27 at 0:26

narutonaruto

191k99 gold badges201201 silver badges383383 bronze badges

• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  I feel that this "exceptional" translates into 卓越した or 真似のできない.
  
  – broccoli forest
  Jun 27 at 3:35
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  @broccoliforest Yes that's better, thank you.
  
  – naruto
  Jun 27 at 4:30
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  Holy moly! Thank you so very much! I wish I could upvote multiple times! Thank you thank you!
  
  – Mike Shanahan
  Jun 27 at 9:43
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment
 | 

24

Since this is a formal statement, it's better to keep 私の. But people can understand the sentence without it because they know it's your profile.

What's worse about your sentence is that your sentence has a number of bad word choices and grammatical errors.

• 生むています is always ungrammatical. The te-form of 生む is 生んで.


• There is a subject-predicate mismatch. 私の目的は生んでいます is "My mission is (in the process of) producing something" rather than "My mission is to produce something". You have to nominalize 生む.


• 主導 refers to an act of leading, but it does not refer to an ability to take a lead role.


• 代表的な執行 sounds like "representative execution" rather than "outstanding performance".


• 例外的な does not have a positive connotation like that of "exceptional". 例外的な質 sounds like "peculiar quality" rather than "exceptional value".


• 通じて needs a particle を.


• (EDIT) This is a relatively minor problem, but consider using 目標 instead of 目的. The former refers to a long-term mission/goal, whereas the latter is closer to "purpose".

A corrected version is something like:

私の目標はリーダーシップ、高いパフォーマンス、イノベーションを通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。

Or if you don't like katakana loanwords, an alternative free translation would be:

私の目標は、指導力・実行力・革新力を通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。

share|improve this answer

edited Jun 27 at 11:27

answered Jun 27 at 0:26

narutonaruto

191k99 gold badges201201 silver badges383383 bronze badges

• 
  
  
  

  
  3
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  I feel that this "exceptional" translates into 卓越した or 真似のできない.
  
  – broccoli forest
  Jun 27 at 3:35
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  @broccoliforest Yes that's better, thank you.
  
  – naruto
  Jun 27 at 4:30
  

  
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  Holy moly! Thank you so very much! I wish I could upvote multiple times! Thank you thank you!
  
  – Mike Shanahan
  Jun 27 at 9:43
  

  
  
  
  

add a comment
 | 

Since this is a formal statement, it's better to keep 私の. But people can understand the sentence without it because they know it's your profile.

What's worse about your sentence is that your sentence has a number of bad word choices and grammatical errors.

• 生むています is always ungrammatical. The te-form of 生む is 生んで.


• There is a subject-predicate mismatch. 私の目的は生んでいます is "My mission is (in the process of) producing something" rather than "My mission is to produce something". You have to nominalize 生む.


• 主導 refers to an act of leading, but it does not refer to an ability to take a lead role.


• 代表的な執行 sounds like "representative execution" rather than "outstanding performance".


• 例外的な does not have a positive connotation like that of "exceptional". 例外的な質 sounds like "peculiar quality" rather than "exceptional value".


• 通じて needs a particle を.


• (EDIT) This is a relatively minor problem, but consider using 目標 instead of 目的. The former refers to a long-term mission/goal, whereas the latter is closer to "purpose".

A corrected version is something like:

私の目標はリーダーシップ、高いパフォーマンス、イノベーションを通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。

Or if you don't like katakana loanwords, an alternative free translation would be:

私の目標は、指導力・実行力・革新力を通じて卓越した価値を生み出すことです。

share|improve this answer

edited Jun 27 at 11:27

answered Jun 27 at 0:26

narutonaruto

191k99 gold badges201201 silver badges383383 bronze badges

share|improve this answer

edited Jun 27 at 11:27

answered Jun 27 at 0:26

narutonaruto

191k99 gold badges201201 silver badges383383 bronze badges

answered Jun 27 at 0:26

narutonaruto

191k99 gold badges201201 silver badges383383 bronze badges

answered Jun 27 at 0:26

narutonaruto

191k99 gold badges201201 silver badges383383 bronze badges