Bsrgvty

Calling you on the day of your uncle's funeral was egregious, whether he knew of it or not. As such, it can be used to drive the point home.

You don’t say if you have already discussed his calling on your off-days or not. In either case, now is the time for a serious conversation.

Something like:

I don't work on my off-days, so, obviously the status of my projects does not change. If you want to know the status, please ask either before I leave, or after I return.

Your calls disturb my private life, and, although you were not to know it (**), it was the day of my uncle’s funeral. I hope that you can see how disturbing that was.

Given that you can never know what I am doing on my days off, you can never know what you might be disturbing, but I fill those with family and friends, and even a short phone call can disturb my private time.

My days off are my time. I don’t work on those days. In the future I will not be answer my phone for calls from work numbers(*) on my off days, nor will I be looking at work email. In the future, please don’t call me on my days off.

Unless he is totally lacking in social skills/empathy, the calls ought to stop.

If not, you have three choices:

1. Polish your CV (which seems a bit drastic).


2. Talk to his boss.


3. Get into the habit of making the last thing you do before leaving for time off be emailing him a status report.

(*) Unless I am paid to be on call I never give my ‘phone number to anyone from work. It’s too late now, but you might want to keep this in mind for the future.

(**) was he aware that you have a day off for your uncle’s funeral?

I would go a different approach.
Of course you don't want to be bothered in your off time, but not answering the phone or telling him to stop calling you doesn't solve the underlying problem: Your team manager propably has no idea of what you are doing.

Of course he could ask, but he is propably busy, maybe overloaded so he doesn't have the time for that and he calls you when he needs an info right now.

I would sit down with him and talk about ways to solve the problem. He wants to know what's going on and you don't want to be bothered. So maybe a new system helps (ticket system, Kanban board, there are plenty of solutions)

This way, you are no aggressive about the problem but solution oriented and can maybe enhance your working experience for both of you.

I've been in IT for > 20 years and also spent many years oncall so I understand your pain.

A few recommendations:

• If you're expected to be reachable out of hours then its reasonable to ask for a work phone and to charge OT


• If not then I'd consider changing my mobile number and if giving it out then only to your manager and only answer calls from them


• If you're disciplined in updating your work tickets then I'd recommend sitting down with your TL and showing them how simple it is to see your status updates for themselves


• If your TL is lacking social skills (which it sounds like from your descriptions) then it might be worth keeping a record of any serious breaches and discussing them with your Manager. Good technical competence doesn't necessarily mean good leadership skills


• Lastly don't be afraid to set and enforce boundaries. Work can take over your life if you let it.

Good luck, I really hope you find a workable solution soon.

How about simply preempting his call by sending an email with all updates before you leave. Then if he calls, you end or ignore it and then text back saying work updates were sent in an email.

Maybe also explicitly state no other updates can be made while on leave since... you aren't working during leave and no progress can be made by you while you are on leave.

Don't answer any calls outside work time and tell your manager you will not be reachable during your leave. Make an appointment in the last day before you leave and discuss all updates. You have to provide all details your manager needs before you leave, so he/she won't disturb you.

PS it seems like your manager is very busy or not very professional. It is not good to disturb employers outside the work. Anyway don't be rude and try to "help" by providing all information needed before you leave.

You need to highlight your specific concern, and that is when you've taken leave, your TL is still contacting you.

What is irrelevant to this issue:

• You completing or not completing your work on time


• You getting angry


• Your TL not discussing his personal life


• Him not offering condolences


• Him being an idiot


• Him perceived to be lacking social skills

The first step is to highlight to him how his behaviour does not meet your expectations and how you would like the behaviour to change.

If that doesn't work, the next step is to complain to HR, or his boss, about the behaviour.

If that doesn't work, you may have to explore more drastic actions like changing your phone number, blocking the calls, or getting a new job.

@Kilisi , @Mawg et.al have given very good answers.

Additionally what you could do is to bill them for the call, but make sure to drive the point that you are expecting a higher compensation for being disturbed with work related calls during your holidays.

The company will probably not like to pay the compensation because that will set a precedent that will allow other employees to ask for same kinds of compensation too.